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turing-tested:

you come to my house. you see this. 

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“oh? you have kids?” “No” i reply. “…rabbits?” “No,” again I reply. you look closer. inside is a roomba. ‘its almost time to feed him!’ i say. your eyes ask a handful of questions, but you remain silent. i sprinkle a handful of dirt in the enclosure.

anistarrose:

Alex Hirsch conducting the most vital of research

watermelinoe:

jackthevulture:

wtfenris:

toboldlylesbian:

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waitress assigned kin

As someone who’s worked in several cafes, I’m mad at how accurate this is.

I will forever remember the time my friend and I were out for chinese food. we got up to pay and I (the short one with bottom energy i guess?) revealed that I would be paying for the meal, and the elderly man at the counter just flat out said “Oh, YOU’RE the boss!”

abac (assigned bottom at chili’s)

therealjoycesepticeye:

comradewodka:

I feel like someone in japan in the 1980s perfectly predicted the kind of thing tumblr would love in 2018

Visual representation of feeling yourself

owlwisdoms100:

gremgremart:

owlwisdoms100:

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Not Even God Can Prepare You For What Your About To See

What is it?

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scrumptiouslyswaggladiator:

girlsdoingcoolshit:

so many things to process here…. 

the sheer amount of speed she gets as it progresses

the crowd seeing her coming and rapidly move out of her way

the very last flip when she attempts to land on her feet after flipping downhill 3000 times 

you can clearly see she has depleted all her energy

and the flop at the end

DAMN!

sheholdsyoucaptivated:

potterheadqueenie:

THE PUPPY FELL ASLEEP 😭

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yassmines:

im losing my mind….shes jus a lil baby…

unholyglee:

honeybruh:

lesbianfemmes:

The ultimate move 😂😂😂

LMAO I HATE EVERYTHING

I JUST SPIT-TAKE EVERYWHERE.